Resolution

A few weeks ago some one from the High Council spoke at church.  I felt very inspired.  His talk was on unity.  Something that I have struggled with ever since I moved here.  We moved here from ASU campus housing, so everyone was on the same page.  Income, students, income, young families, and did I say income???  Well, when we moved here.  I was so, so excited to live in my own house, so excited to have more permanent neighbors, and so, so, so excited to be in a new ward family.  We have been here for 4 years now and things are getting better.  But I still feel lonely at times.  I tried to get to know people, sat by someone new each Sunday, went out and met my neighbors, went on walks often, went to the park, went to all of the church activities.  I didn't get one friend until 3 1/2 years after moving here.

Okay, I am probably putting too much information out in the world, but this is like a journal to me and I need to get this out some how.

So, here is my resolution... I can't remember what the High Councilman said, but this is what I got out of it.  

For too long I have been letting others determine my mood.  Looks that I would get, or comments that would be made, or even no one saying hi, or no smile.  This made me feel so sad.

Some would ask, why did you keep going to church, or even stay in your neighborhood?  We continue living here because we are close enough to Pa's work and the housing is affordable. We continue going to church because we believe in the teachings, I know it is true and I know that I need to be there.

Well, we all learn from our trials and after 4 years thus far I have learned that I need to say, "Good riddance!"  "Stop letting others determine how you feel!"  So from here on out I am going to let me be happy, if someone is not on their best behavior that is okay.  They don't have to be.  I can always be nice, I can always have a smile on my face, or if I don't like what has happened, then I need to speak up and not let it kindle inside of me.

I have a good example of this.  Someone was telling me what I needed to do to get my child to go to class and instead of being angry behind her back, I spoke up.  She understood better and I think she respects my decision.  

Another thing that I learned from the talk was gossip... what is gossip?  Gossip is when something is spoken that you wouldn't dare say to the persons face.  So as the person who I am this can be tough to not judge others and speak of it.  I will bite my tongue.

These are some pretty deep thoughts and feelings, if you got this far I hope you can learn from my trials, and try and be a better person.  I know that I am going to be better this year.  Wish me luck! -Ma